I scarcely remember her face. We
were too young when they took her away from me. But I do remember her crying,
shouting at them fiercely like a wild wounded animal. I couldn’t stop them.
They had tied me up and forced me to watch.
They
were three: all of them in thick black clothes; all of them blond and pale. The
leader wrapped his hands around her wrists tightly to the point of making her
scream for mercy. The youngest put a knife to her throat, looking at her with
sickly desire. The cold blade made its way downwards, stroking her skin tenderly before desecrating it.
The
blood started to spill when the iron penetrated the flesh. Small reddish drops
coloured her white skin, making her look like a mythological sacrificed virgin.
The one who had been quiet until then stared at me with anxiety. He wasn’t
enjoying the ceremony, but he hadn’t tried to do anything to stop his friends
either. He was as coward as I, both of us incapable of taking charge of the
situation; both of us letting an innocent soul burned in hell.
The
leader held her tighter when the guy of the knife crossed her heart with it.
She didn’t resist anymore, being aware that the end was close. Only when the
heavy scarlet liquid soaked her white clothes the leader released her arms,
which fell lifeless onto the table. He made a sign to his brothers and
immediately the three of them knelt before my already sister’s bloodless body
with reverence.
My
blood turned to ice when I discovered what was going on. They were selling her
blood to the old Gods in exchange of an ensured victory in the battlefield, but
they had disregarded one tiny detail: my sister wasn’t a virgin, and the old
Gods would become angry when they found it out.
Tears
rolled down my face when I realized my sister’s death had been in vain. But the
worst of all this situation was that they were about to discover that there was
still a virgin in the room…
Hola, Athenea.
ResponderEliminarMe ha parecido un relato bastante raro y de temática nueva, lo cual es bueno y se agradece.
A pesar de estar en inglés, me ha gustado mucho más que el anterior que escribiste.
Te animo a que hagas más en esta otra lengua.
Ánimo con la uni. (Creo que todos estamos igual, jajaja). xD
Por fin, hacía muchísimo que no sabía nada de ti, ya tenía ganas de historias y relatos.
ResponderEliminarEs verdad que es un tanto "insondable" en cuanto al argumento pero me ha gustado de todas formas.
No se si has tenido fallos gramaticales pero en cuanto a erratas normales que cualquiera tendría incluso en español creo que te has comido una l en "all" (2º párrafo) y la y en "they" (penúltimo)
Por lo demás genial y encantados de que vuelva a saberse de ti por aquí.
Muchas suerte con tu vida facultil (:D) y un beso.
Bien no sé qué decir así que me imagino que tendrás un cacao mental de la ostia porque apenas he podido entender de qué iba la cosa. Definitivamente no es tu mejor relato. Te sugiero que cuando acabes con todo lo referente a la universidad, te tomes unos cuantos días de descanso desconectada del Internet sobre todo para cargar las pilas. Espero no parecer muy dramático.
ResponderEliminarAthenea me resulta algo interesante, en cuanto a la cuestión del argumento puede ser un punto a favor, cosas como esa dejan mucho a la imaginación del lector... o como en mi caso con ganas de mas! :D Jeje no se si te has visto Jennifer's body con Megan Fox me lo recordó mucho y es que me encantó la temática del sacrificio y la virgen y todo eso... por cierto, me encanta que escribas en inglés con tal seriedad, Besos :)
ResponderEliminar